You Lucky Prat
by Auttzthoughtz
Summary: "If he's in love with you, he'll never say it...but if he calls you a prat, you know you're the luckiest man in the world." Purely fluffy goodness. Merthur. My first Rated T story, WOOT WOOT! So used to writing Rated M but this fluffiness is just as fabulous for this one. Enjoy! :)


"When he's in love with you, he'll never say it," Will told Arthur haphazardly.

"What?"

"Well, by the time he does, if he does, he'll most likely already be halfway out the door," Will said softly. "I mean, that's been the way with every other relationship I've seen Merlin in. But if he calls you a prat, you know you're the luckiest man in the world."

"Merlin's been calling me a prat since…since I first met him. You can't really expect me to believe that," Arthur paused for a moment. "Really, that's really what he means?"

"Does he call anybody else prat like he does to you?" Will asked firmly.

"Well, no, but that doesn't mean," Arthur sighed. "Does it?"

"Yes, pretty much," Will too sighed. "But don't you dare call him out on it, remember what I said about him not liking to say the actual thing."

"He'll never actually tell me?" Arthur asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Will shrugged. "If he ever does, it will be a while."

Just then, Merlin appears, having shown up about an hour late for their dinner together. "Sorry I'm late. My prat had so many chores left for me today," Merlin leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on Arthur's lips before going over to sit down. "I didn't think I was ever going to make it down here."

Arthur smiled a bit idiotically, now loving even more Merlin's little nickname for him. Merlin looked at him, confusion striking his features. "Will, how much did you give Arthur to drink before I got here?"

Arthur smacked him on the arm. "You're such an idiot."

Will chuckled, mostly to himself. "That's how I know he loves Merlin back."

"What did you just say?" Merlin said, astonished.

Will cleared his throat. He hadn't meant for Merlin to hear that. "What I meant to say was-"

"Don't you try to fix that, how can you imply that Arthur loves me simply by the fact that he's called me an idiot?" Merlin chuckled. "The idea is ludicrous."

"Oh, really?" Will asked. "How's that? How about the fact that you only call him prat, he only calls you idiot, and you've been together for…what, two years now? Just shut up or I'll actually make you say it."

Merlin gulped. "Will, you wouldn't dare-"

"Oh, and just to let you know, I may or may not have told Arthur what it means when you call him prat," Will continued through, ignoring Merlin's frustrations as Arthur came back to the table with drinks. "I'll take mine, Arthur," Will chugged his drink before placing it back on the table. "And I'll be off, I think you two need a couple's conversation."

"Will, I swear to all gods-"

"You can't kill me, Merlin Emrys," Will said with a wink. "You're mother loves me too much!"

Merlin practically growled at his friend as he left. Then, he looked back to Arthur. "You know better than to listen to him, right?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Arthur said, clearly amused. "He said nothing of importance to me."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I know Will told you about the 'prat' theory he has. He formed it about…oh I don't know, two years ago? But now he's got a new one. Based on 'idiot' and the way you use it to call on me."

Arthur just grinned. "I mean it in such a way, I suppose. There is no issue with Will saying such a thing."

Merlin's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"I mean it really and truly, Merlin," Arthur said, smirking. "You are my idiot."

Merlin laughed softly. He leaned in closer. "And, you, Arthur Pendragon. You are my prat." Arthur leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on Merlin's lips. When they pulled apart, Merlin was chuckling. "We're never going to be normal, are we prat?"

"Well, let's see: you are the most powerful sorcerer in the lands, I'm the most destined king of the lands, and neither of us have enough power to say those three words," Arthur shrugged. "Being normal is overrated, I suppose."

"I suppose so," Merlin said, chuckling a bit. Then they went back to having their nice meal and their life together in the best ways they could.

**FIN**

**Author's Note: Sorry this was short and kinda sappy. It was inspired by HIMYM's 'Ted's School of Romance' where Ted told Barney that if Robin called Barney an idiot, he was lucky because she wouldn't say the actual words and so on and so forth. Same deal. I just thought it'd be cute. Might rewrite or continue later, but probably not. I hope you enjoyed it. If not, I'm sorry I'm not sorry for this little drabble.**


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